My friend Ellen and I were asked to chair the Sustainer Merchant Hospitality Booth for this year's Mistletoe and Magic. We had to put together a committee of women who would help us feed the merchants who were participating in the show for 4 days. Three meals a day, for 9 hours a day. That's a lot of togetherness for 8 menopausal women.
Ellen is a 26 year friend, a sista for sure, and we chose our friends that we've loved for almost that long, but who were also doers. Not a slacker in the bunch. We did feed the people. And we did it well. So well. Of course we gave them unsolicited advice, complimented them on their cute boots or their new do, watched their booths for them, asked them about their home towns, their families and so on and so on. It was a very happy happening place.
Each one of us brought our own gifts to the booth. So interesting. Two were super efficient over-the-top organized pleasers; another one went strictly by the rules and almost measured how much salad they were allowed to put on their plates, while another one just fussed over the rest of us making sure we were okay. Another one talked and talked with everyone who came in and added personality and hominess to our little corner. And I feel certain that the other one could colonize a planet all by herself! I've been trying to figure out what I brought to this group? I got to make signs and garlands and decorate and fluff our little nest. People came to me when they needed to laugh or cry; they came to me when they had a problem. One old friend even stopped by the booth to tell me she had just filed for divorce. On that one we had to leave the corner and go outside and have a little cry. Other friends called me and asked me to shop for them. It was funny.
I'm still not sure what I brought to the group, maybe I was just the gatherer of it all, but I know that I loved the camaraderie of those wonderfully funny, capable, talented women. It reminded me so much of one of my favorite books, The Red Tent. There is really nothing like us. We are quirky and endearing and strong. We are the BEST.
For now, I need the solace of my quiet little house. I cannot even look at another cheese ball, hear any more Christmas music or smile when someone is complaining about not having any crushed red pepper for their free pizza. But my heart is smiling and is very full.
I read this post and realized how much I do not know these women, how much I feel so separate from them, have always felt so separate from them. Not in the same financial or social strata, I sadly have had preconceived notions of who these women really are. Thank you for this. I have lived my life in this town not fitting in, thinking that those others, those them, should be more accepting and understanding of those of us who live week to week on a paycheck, always hoping for more, always trying - I never questioned my thinking or understanding of them. Shame on me. Shame. And it's funny but I never thought of you as one of them - you are such a real, wonderful person. It never occurred to me that of course, so are they. This town has so much to offer and we stay so separated. I don't know how to fix this, but I am starting with myself.
ReplyDeleteThis was a real eye-opener for me, and perhaps I should just email these comments, but I won't, I will say them right out loud. Thank you for making me understand that I shouldn't be intimidated by these women, that they are good women, that they are, indeed, real, wonderful.
xo
Debi