Another Thanksgiving

The Table

The Bird

The Fam

The End

I wasn't looking forward to it. We've never had a good one. It was off to a really bad start. But it ended up being a great one. A grateful one. A grateful one indeed. Muchas Gracias!

The Higher Side of Normal

The higher side of normal. Did he really just say that???? Hmmmmm..... What an interesting concept. I'm not sure that I've ever even experienced real normal and certainly not the higher side of it.

It's amazing to me how total chaos, absolute craziness, and subtle insanity can become my normal. And just like that. That fast. I know I've been in the middle of the lower side of normal. For sure.

The higher side. What would that feel like? Probably very strange. I wouldn't even know what to do with it. How to act, much less how to react. I'm thinking it might feel totally awkward. And definitely surreal.

The man who used the higher side of normal was on tv. He was the weatherman. But, he sure did make me think.......and then I figured it out! I took a stroll down memory lane. The photo above is my old driver's license picture.

I lost it and thank goodness I got to get a new one. I recently found the license and it shows that I was definitely experiencing the lower side of normal. The much lower side. The very scary, very lost, way below normal side. And then I got out my old, but newer license. Not so great, but the higher side of MY normal. And, I'm good with it.

The Bubbas

Amigos, compadres, friends, whatever you want to call them. I've acquired some new ones. You never really know when or how or why they'll show up in your life, but my new ones are here. I guess it just happens when it's supposed to?? And it's usually so random! At least these new amigos are. Very random.

I've endearingly named them the Bubbas. One's name is Josh; the other's name is Country. For real. Only in East Texas, right?? Well, they've been doing work on my house. To be exact, the windows. So that sort of makes them voyeurs. Actually , they are voyeurs. They know everything I do and when and how I do it. One of them has now started wearing cologne. Yep, I said cologne. How funny is that?? So interesting. I'm thinking they're thinking Helloooo Mrs. Robinson...

If I had the time, they would talk to me ALL DAY. They ask me all kinds of questions and I give them all kinds of advice. One of them had to go to court and I told him he needed to wear a suit and shave. His trial was postponed, so he came over to take me to lunch. Why waste a clean shave and a kinda new suit? he said. Really. The next day I was so sick with the flu and they wanted to know what they could do to help me. Anything they said. I leave the back door open for them every morning and have their coffee ready. They always text me thank you. It's all too funny. They throw the ball to the dogs until the dogs literally collapse. And yes, I'm paying them by the hour.

Eventually I'll run out of things for them to do, but until then, I'm just going to enjoy them. As Josh promised, he's still going to take me to lunch after his trial. It's on my calendar. In a very simple way, they're PURE. Totally unencumbered by life. Every day is a new day...

The Moment I Wake Up

Dionne Warwick has nothing on me...

Well, here goes. I'm just going to say it. It shouldn't have happened, but it did. And I'm guessing it will never stop? I woke up Saturday morning at 6:00 with a very sick feeling deep inside of me. Way too deep. And I had to act on it.

I've been separated and divorced from this man for 8 years. We were married for 30 years and dated for 6 years before that; we grew up together. He has remarried and we've both moved on. But when I woke up, I knew something was very wrong with him. You know that thing - you can just feel it in your bones? Well I could feel it. So at 6:00 am on a Saturday, I texted him only to find out that he was in the hospital and they had just put a stent in his heart. What? Oh no? How could I have known? (Twilight Zone music is ringing in my ears...)

So many thoughts are still in my head. Will we always be connected in some weird cosmic way, other than children? Am I SUPER intuitive? Whaaaaat??? I've always been able to sense things about others more than others. But this?? Too scary and way too creepy even for me. Because of our history? Or because of our history? Or because I'm not cluttered with millions of hard thoughts anymore and so the true thoughts are able to come to the surface? I don't know. It's kind of like that old Igloo cooler joke How do it know? Well, that's what I'm trying to figure out. How did I know?

But, I do know that when I feel deeply about something, I will act on it now. I promise.

Wonderful, Wonderful Women

My friend Ellen and I were asked to chair the Sustainer Merchant Hospitality Booth for this year's Mistletoe and Magic. We had to put together a committee of women who would help us feed the merchants who were participating in the show for 4 days. Three meals a day, for 9 hours a day. That's a lot of togetherness for 8 menopausal women.

Ellen is a 26 year friend, a sista for sure, and we chose our friends that we've loved for almost that long, but who were also doers. Not a slacker in the bunch. We did feed the people. And we did it well. So well. Of course we gave them unsolicited advice, complimented them on their cute boots or their new do, watched their booths for them, asked them about their home towns, their families and so on and so on. It was a very happy happening place.

Each one of us brought our own gifts to the booth. So interesting. Two were super efficient over-the-top organized pleasers; another one went strictly by the rules and almost measured how much salad they were allowed to put on their plates, while another one just fussed over the rest of us making sure we were okay. Another one talked and talked with everyone who came in and added personality and hominess to our little corner. And I feel certain that the other one could colonize a planet all by herself! I've been trying to figure out what I brought to this group? I got to make signs and garlands and decorate and fluff our little nest. People came to me when they needed to laugh or cry; they came to me when they had a problem. One old friend even stopped by the booth to tell me she had just filed for divorce. On that one we had to leave the corner and go outside and have a little cry. Other friends called me and asked me to shop for them. It was funny.

I'm still not sure what I brought to the group, maybe I was just the gatherer of it all, but I know that I loved the camaraderie of those wonderfully funny, capable, talented women. It reminded me so much of one of my favorite books, The Red Tent. There is really nothing like us. We are quirky and endearing and strong. We are the BEST.

For now, I need the solace of my quiet little house. I cannot even look at another cheese ball, hear any more Christmas music or smile when someone is complaining about not having any crushed red pepper for their free pizza. But my heart is smiling and is very full.

The Rest of the Story

Well, the pool table is long gone. Thank goodness. And all that it represented. Katie felt certain is was affecting my relationship corner in a very bad way. It drove out of the driveway at about 6:30 pm and by 7:00 pm, my phone had rung. And it was a man. A man of interest. And this man of interest asked me out. On a real date. Dinner.

That old fear rose up inside of me again. Dread. Playa. User. Why would he be calling me? What does he want from me? My thoughts right now about all men. I had a reprieve because of my trip to DC and I figured that by the time I got back, his little thought about me would be gone and that would be the end of it. But no. He was persistent. He called again and again and again. We had dinner and it was nice. Really nice. And easy. It's been over a month and he's still calling.

I've had surgery and am still recovering and he is still calling. He didn't mind the golf ball that was growing out of my leg or the layers of gauze (practically a mini pad) that are still covering my leg. He helps me. He cooks for me. He seems intrigued by the "earthiness?" of me. We laugh and sometimes we just be without saying a word. We even play Book Worm on the computer. We debate healthcare issues, organized religion, alternative medicine, buying organic, Fox news versus CNN and we've agreed to disagree about Monday nights - Football or Dancing With the Stars. He is supportive and thinks I should start my own stationery business. He hates my love of the fabulous Latin Catrinas, but he is the very one who has encouraged me to make Reina Esperanza Luz a friend, the soon to be handsome gaucho lova!

I have no idea how long he'll be around. Don't really care. Right now he's here and that's really all that matters. For the first time, I'm not making any future plans at all. Just enjoying the moment or the month. Or the whatever.

Bon Appetite!

I just had a double digit birthday and my gift to myself was a trip to DC to visit Lauren and Will, my daughter and son in law. I was there for 10 days and could have stayed forever. I miss them terribly and it was so great to just be with them and enjoy their new lives. Lauren and I were joined at the hip for days. We shopped, made my oh so favorite thing-stationery, looked at houses, did some sight-seeing and talked and talked and talked for hours. We also drove to Philly to visit a gallery that we've been looking at online for years. We both bought paintings done by outsider Cuban artists. We are kind of clones of one another and usually finish each other's sentences. It was my BEST birthday ever. Her gift to me for the BIG 55 was fabulous stationery that she had made and an incredible paper mache puta! Muy magnifico.

For my actual birthday dinner, she fixed Julia's boeuf bourguignon. She and Will and I all loved the movie Julie and Julia and that's what inspired the wonderful dinner. I had told her when I saw the movie that the boeuf bourguignon was the most beautiful meal I had ever seen. So, that's what she so lovingly prepared. The table was set with such sweetness; the Gypsy Kings were playing softly in the background; the candles were burning, and the conversation was so fun. They told me every little detail about how and when they met. Details I would have NEVER told my mother, but oh well! Dessert was that wonderful chocolate almond cake that's also Julia's recipe. Mmmmmmm so good! Unbelievably good.

When it was time for me to leave, we were in the car on the way to the airport and she asked me what my favorite thing was about my stay. I could barely answer. My eyes were filled with tears and I had a huge lump in my throat, because it was simply that sweet, so very special, boeuf bourguignon. So, bon appetite, with love!

Buenos Dias!

Me llamo Reina Esperanza Luz.......

Reina Esperanza Luz is the Queen of Hope and Light. She was going to be simply the Queen of Hope, but then the glitter took over and she became the Queen of Hope and Light. I made her for Dia de los Muertos and was going to put her on a website to be auctioned off, but surgery and life got in the way and so she is now the reigning queen of my home.

I made her from start to finish. She was a labor of love. I layered each piece of newspaper and sanded and layered and sanded and layered and sanded and layered the paper mache some more. I even used flour and water to make the paste and when it came time for the glitter....Oh my gosh!!!!! It was pure love. Glitter covered every surface in my house for days. Probably still does. That's where "Luz" came in. It means light in Espanol, and she is covered in it, so there you go. I didn't have a saw, so I got out the tree lopers and cut the dowel rod for the base and even drilled the hole in the base. I did it all by myself. Well, really the Queen and I. She's loaded with imperfections and it took me about a bizillion hours to make her. I look at her every day and I absolutely love her. She makes me smile. Now, I've decided she needs a friend, a really good friend. He's going to be a handsome gaucho!