Michael and Me

So much for Confucious.

Where to begin? Let me see...

During the first surgery in June when the doctor cut me open, he was shocked to find lots and lots of rice bodies. Hmmmmm. Really??? Rice bodies??? Interesting.

After that surgery, I was left with a "protrusion" on my leg. It continued to grow to be the size of a golf ball, until the doctor finally said OMG it's about to explode. Yep. Another surgery. A "simple" surgery. When he cut me open, once again he was shocked. He only found few rice bodies, but found lots and lots of crisco. Hmmmmm. Really???? Now my body is making fried rice. Pretty amazing.

The doctor stitched me up and covered my leg with gauze I was good as new. Except that it's now been a month and I still have gauze on my leg. He removed the stitches and then my leg got HUGE. Once again, the doctor looked at the incision and saw crisco dripping out of it. So, now I get to have 2 new doctors - wound care and infectious disease- at the wound care clinic. People in there are missing appendages and limbs and many have come from nursing homes, etc. I only have a hole in my leg, but I do get to go into a room with a door versus a room with a wide open curtain. The doctor comes in and I kiddingly tell her that my friends think I'm going to be like Michael Jackson. They think I'm going to be in a hyperbaric chamber. She just smiles....

After digging around in the hole in my leg, she says OMG!!! What is this??? Unwisely, I sit up to see what the excitement is all about, only to see her holding a rice body in her precious tweezers. After calling in another person to witness the extraction, she very carefully places it in a special bag to go to a special place to be cultured. Then with that same smile, she says Well, hello Michael! Yep. For real. I'm going to be in the hyperbaric chamber for 2 hours every day for I don't know how long. It looks like a clear tube with a pillow in it. Are you claustrophobic? she says.

Merry Christmas to me. My friends say it's supposed to be like the Fountain of Youth. You'll be so rested and rejuvenated they all say. You'll get to watch movies or sleep or do whatever you want for 2 hours every day, like going to a very tiny little spa. I just hope I don't come out looking like Michael Jackson!